Carphology

"Carphology" the delirious plucking at bedclothes in old age, the vestigial need to go on doing something useful with our lives right up to the end.
Mild carphology means we haven't started eating the blankets yet. I'm not saying that I have started eating wool myself, but I do exhibit certain symptoms--fear of the young, rap music, industriousness, traffic, climatic changes, violence, sex and the conviction that changes in society are all bad.

It is said that time passes more quickly as you get older and this is why some old people don't even have time to take down the Christmas tree. This speeding up of time explains why we get so upset about everything changing. Sometimes I catch myself thinking - only a few years and it will all be over, before I realize what that means. There is a bright spot-toilet paper greatly improved with time and maybe a few other things, I haven't thought of. I had better check the stove, I think my wool, er... lunch is done.